Rushing Ahead

I walked into Target today and was greeted with large signs shaped like pencils covered in school-related slogans. Say what?! Does Target not know that it's only July 5th?? Our local schools finished the school year less than three weeks ago. Do they honestly think anyone is ready for back-to-school shopping? Who wants to buy school supplies when they just got summer started? NO ONE.

Trust me, I know this is nothing new. Doesn't it seem to be getting a little out of hand though? Obviously it would be inconvenient if they didn't start selling school supplies until the day before school starts, but we're not even close. We've just barely started to enjoy the summer and they're packing up the bbq tools to make room for spiral notebooks. Why are these stores in such a hurry to get to the next season??

The worst part is that the stores force your hand by setting up for the next season so far in advance. You can't wait to shop for stuff like backpacks or lunch boxes at the normal, reasonable time to purchase school supplies because all the good stuff is gone already. It's the same with swimsuits and winter coats and boots. If you want new boots for the fall you have to buy them in August. Here in southern California you might not even get to wear the darn boots until November but if you try to buy them then you're up a creek because no one sells boots in November. That would be insanity. Think about it. Why on God's green earth would you sell a product during the season when people actually use it??

I wish that we could focus on what we need right now and not have to worry that if we aren't planning months in advance then we won't have a prayer of finding what we need. That's my rant for today. I'm done now and I feel lighter.

Changing it up… again

Lately I’ve been feeling a little dissatisfied with how my blog looks. So I’m trying another new background and with it a new header. I’m liking the coordination. We’ll see how it sits after some time.

It would be so fun and motivating to have a custom design but that won’t be happening unless I start using this blog to make money. I’m not sure the Husband would see personalizing my blog design for my own benefit as a “necessary expense.”

Speaking of necessary expenses, we’ve been having a lot of unexpected additions to the bills pile recently. Our furnace was making this horrendous shrieking noise whenever it kicked into gear and because our house is small, you could hear it in all the bedrooms, which was a little unnerving at 3am. A repairman checked it and determined that it might need the motor oiled. Thirty minutes and 140 bucks later, no more shrieking.  Sometimes I wish that I had some sort of knowledge in the heat/AC/electricity/plumbing arena. For the amount of time that it seems to take, those guys sure do charge a bundle. We also had to replace our garbage disposal this weekend, but I’m proud to say that the Husband did that all on his own and it’s working great.

I also found some super cheap frames this weekend and finally managed to complete a project that I’ve had in the back of my mind for months (and months). I’ll hopefully get the frames hung this week and then I will be a very happy camper. And maybe I’ll post pictures too. I have the before pix already but I’d rather wait and reveal both at the same time. I think I’ve been writing a lot about projects yet to come and not a lot about the results. I wonder why that is.

Making a Life

As we get closer day by day to our wedding, I can't help but be a little introspective. Along with the chaos and craziness of making sure all the details come together, my overarching feeling is that in 22 days I get to marry the love of my life. I have found someone who I not only like to spend time with, but who also cares for me in a way that I never imagined. If I made a list of all the important qualities that I would want in my husband, the Fiance would have every one. In the simplest of terms, I feel very lucky.

I received an email recently about an interview with Maya Angelou on "Oprah." One of the things that she said was "I've learned that 'making a living' is different from 'making a life.'" Personally I would much rather make a life and I've realized that my soon-to-be husband and I work towards that every day. Of course making a living is necessary but making a life seems to be more about the big picture. We choose to make our family a priority. In addition to making sure that Baby gets an abundance of love, we also focus on fulfilling that same need in one another, knowing that the happiness of our family is dependent on the strength and quality of our relationship.

Getting married makes me think about what our life will be like 30 years from now too. I wonder how our family will have grown and how we will have changed. Maybe that's only natural but when I imagine this life, I feel an incredible excitement and also a deep peace at knowing who I will spend it with. And that says a lot to me about the commitment we are about to make and how right it is in my heart.

Perfection is not the Point

from www.toothpastefordinner.com

I love this cartoon because it completely captures how I feel some days, especially now that I'm running around after Baby who has decided that she can go wherever she feels and do whatever she wants. Forget the fact that she can't even walk on her own yet. She'll get where she needs to go whether I'm involved or not. There are times when I can barely keep up with her, let alone get a shower or keep the house clean.

There's a lot of pressure (mostly internal) to be the perfect mother and have the perfect home at all times. The reality is far different. When I was pregnant, I imagined all the time I would finally have to do projects around the house and what a great homemaker I would be. I'd be super fit because I'd be taking walks (or better yet runs) using our fabulous baby stroller every day. I would have home-cooked meals ready and waiting for the Fiance every night. Donna Reed would have nothing on this mom. But most days, the amount of free time I have is pretty limited. Naptime and after bedtime are the only parts of the day when I'm not preoccupied by her ransacking the pantry for the item most likely to be labeled a choking hazard. Once she is asleep, there's a long list of tasks to do and sometimes it's hard to know where to start. Perfection is no longer the goal; survival becomes the new target.

Simple Mom recently re-posted an article from a tongue-in-cheek series she did last year called "How to be Disorganized & Unproductive." Coming from a blogger who is somewhat of a home management icon, I really appreciated lesson #2: Aim for Perfection. As she says, "When you aim for perfection, you're defeated before you even start..." Thinking that you can achieve this goal is setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. I'm still working on many areas where I'd like to improve when it comes to our home, but there are a couple things that I aim to do every day that help me feel I've accomplished something despite the level of chaos.

1. I make our bed. Even if the laundry is overflowing and the bathroom needs cleaning, if the bed is made it makes me feel much better. It also helps me feel more relaxed when I get in bed at night because the room doesn't seem quite so much of a shambles.

2. I pick up the toys. Because we spend most of the day in the living room, it makes sense that Baby would have a supply of toys at her fingertips. These toys spend the majority of the day scattered in all corners of the room. But before I go to bed, I try to corral them into some sort of organization so that the next day we start fresh. I don't wake up in the morning to complete disarray.

I generally try to clean off the counters in the kitchen too but that is dependent on the status of the dishwasher at bedtime. These may seem like small, insignificant things but they can make a world of difference when I try to unwind and go to sleep. And truthfully I would rather not get a few things done and spend the time playing with Baby than cross off my entire list of chores while she is stuck in her jumpy watching a Baby Einstein dvd. When it comes down to it, in 20 years I'm not going to care if the house was always spotless but I will definitely care whether I took advantage of the invaluable time with my daughter.

Time Management or Time Wasting??

I was born a procrastinator. Really. I came a week after the due date. I have a genuine and sincere ability to put things off until the last minute possible. I'd like to say that I've gotten better about this over the years but that would be a lie. When I moved out of my apartment and into the Fiance's house, I was literally throwing clothes into garbage bags as he was carting other boxes out of the room. Luckily I was preggers at the time so not too much was expected of me but still.

One of my resolutions this year was to be more organized. So far not much has been resolved in this department. I am fairly organized with wedding details but that's more out of fear that losing something important would spell doom for the big day. Our daily routine is somewhat organized, but only because Baby has a predictable stream of events throughout the day, sleeping, eating and whatnot. The in-between parts are less organized and I tend to do things pretty haphazardly. I've been researching some good tools around the web. Simple Mom is great at this sort of thing. I don't feel the need to be rigid, just feeling that we'd all benefit from a little more structure. I'm always open to suggestion...

Hurry Sickness

With all the technology and gadgets available to us these days, you would think that we would have an abundance of free time where we do nothing but sit outside and enjoy the fresh air. But this is certainly not the case in my life. Some days I feel like if I'm not doing three things at once, then I'm not accomplishing enough. My day seems to go by so quickly that before I know it, it's time to go to bed again and my brain is swimming with all the things that didn't get done.

People are often in such a hurry that if you take a minute to concentrate on what you're doing it almost feels like you are getting in the way. You barely have time to put your wallet back in your purse before the cashier at the grocery store is ringing up the next customer. Sometimes when the person behind me is impatiently inching forward, I just want to say "um I'm actually still standing here so you'll just have to wait 30 seconds!" In his book The Life You've Always Wanted, John Ortberg calls this constant rushing about "hurry sickness." One of his examples is something we've all seen (and done) where we try to guess which checkout lane or traffic line will move the fastest and then we get pissed when we're wrong because God forbid it might take us an extra minute or two to get where we need to go. Last night I was watching an old Ellen Degeneres stand-up routine where she talks about this very topic. She jokes about all the multi-tasking and says in reference to driving while talking on a hands-free phone "don't you think that if it takes both hands to do something, your brain should be involved too?"

There are times when I take the time to smell the proverbial roses and I make an effort to give my daughter my full attention as much as possible. She is at a stage where she often provides helpful reminders if my mind is elsewhere. There's nothing like screaming at the top of her lungs to bring me back to full focus. I hope that I get better at taking my time as I get older and not better at hurrying. I think when life is consumed by rushing from one thing to the next, you are prone to missing the little things that matter most. To me that seems like such a shame.

Jumbled Thoughts

I've been MIA for over a week now, partly because Fiance was out of town and my sister was visiting, partly because I've been feeling a little lazy and unmotivated. I have several projects that need to be addressed and yet I can't seem to get any of them moving.

For example... recently Fiance put some shelves up on the wall above the couch (a wide wall w/ a high ceiling- aka my nemesis) for framed black and whites of our family and prints that my sister gifted at Christmas. I have some black and silver frames of various sizes but have hit the wall (literally a few times) because I can't find more inexpensive silver frames for other pictures that I want in the collection. I've hit up all the usual stores and have come up blank. Hence the stopping point.

I really want to get some new pillows for the couch but every time I find some that I like, I bring them home only to realize they are almost exactly the color of the couch. Why does this happen? I'm feeling a little out of sorts because I am running into this same issue over and over again. I think I need to collect my ideas, focus a bit and channel the energy of some of the HGTV gurus.

Legwarmers? No, thank you.

Around Halloween, I was in Target and came across a rack of legwarmers in multiple colors. Real actual legwarmers. My first thought was that maybe I should be Jane Fonda the 80s aerobics queen for Halloween. My immediate second thought was "why are there legwarmers in Target?" The last time I owned legwarmers was sometime in the mid to late 80s. I couldn't help wondering if people are actually wearing these hideous garments as a fashion statement or as a joke. I may not be the most fashionably dressed individual in the room, but I keep up with current styles for the most part and let me say here and now that legwarmers will not now or ever again be a part of my wardrobe. This statement may also be applied to boots with fringe, mini-skirts with ruffles, and any sort of colored denim. I've already worn those items at one time in my life and I have no desire to incorporate them into my closet again.

I got to thinking that maybe this is how my mother felt when bell-bottoms and flared jeans became popular again. She had worn those styles when she was much younger and thought it was ridiculous that anyone would want to bring those fashions back from the past. In my delightful teenager way, I simply rolled my eyes and left the room. She looked at pictures of herself in bell-bottoms with the same embarrassed nostalgia that I have when I see my younger self wearing bright colored leggings under skirts, tucked into fringed boots. I saw this exact outfit on a teenager at Noodles yesterday when I was picking up lunch and I couldn't help but smile to myself. I suppose that it's the nature of fashion to be recycled by future generations. Just don't expect to see me wearing pink leggings under a mini-skirt anytime soon.

Deja Vu

I don't want to sound like a jerk, but do people just not understand what this term means?? I was just watching a TV show where an announcer said "it's deja vu all over again" and I have heard people say things like that so many times. Deja vu literally translated means "already seen" so to say "deja vu all over again" is just redundant. It's like saying "3am in the morning." Really? As opposed to the other 3am? I know it is silly and nitpicky but this is one of those stupid things that bothers me.

Telling the Internet Bullies to Suck It

Last night I watched some of the Golden Globe Awards while I was catching up on some stuff around the house. While most of it was basically a snooze as award shows tend to be, one highlight that I managed to catch was Tina Fey's acceptance speech in which she addressed people who had insulted her on the internet, telling them to "suck it." It was awesome!!

The internet has become a platform for individuals to post their opinions, many overly rude and far more aggressive than any normal person would speak to someone face to face. Under the cover of anonymity these people feel free to say the most insulting things to someone they have never met (and never will) based on the idea that everyone has a right to their own opinion. Celebrities like Fey are faced daily with public scrutiny from all angles, and although they bargained into this life by pursuing a particular career, I don't believe that it is necessary to use the internet as a virtual bat and pummel the hell out of them.

Bloggers are also subject to internet critique and the more popular the site, the more the crazies seem to come out of the woodwork. Heather Armstrong of "Dooce" has a widely known blog and receives hundreds and sometimes thousands of comments on her posts. Known for her exceedingly dry wit and sarcasm, the comments she gets often indicate that many of her readers have absolutely no sense of humor, otherwise they would never write the things they do. Occasionally she writes a post dedicated to addressing some of the more vile comments, which is often more hilarious than her normal daily banter. She tends to post snippets of the comments and then critique their spelling and grammatical errors, as well as their inept misuse of the English language. Here is a piece of advice to people who leave nasty comments on blogs... it's called proofreading - try it.

Reflection and Resolution

It's only natural this time of year to be looking at the past and setting goals for the future. The past year has been pretty monumental for me. I got engaged and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Both are life-changing events and have made 2008 my best year so far. I've always wanted to be a mom and my daughter is about as perfect as I could ever imagine. We've been through our fair share of sleepless nights and stressful times as new parents, but the times when I feel like I don't know what the hell I'm doing have gotten fewer and farther between. I think that's called progress. Or maybe that's just parenting. After watching her grow and change so much in the past 7 months, I can only imagine how amazing the next year will be.

In the past few years I really haven't made many resolutions because I tend to be the type to go strong for a couple weeks and then completely lag from then on. I like to make resolutions about things that I might actually do or am already in the process of doing. I also think it makes more sense to aim for goals that are relevant to my life and not just things I "should" be doing. At first it was difficult for me to think of any resolutions for 2009, but finally the ideas started flowing. One of my goals may seem cliche or even just plain trendy, but I really want to "green up" our house this year. I'm not saying we're going to start raising goats in the backyard and weaving our own cloth, but I would like to make some small changes that would make us a little friendlier to the environment. For anyone else with the same ambition, there is a great site I just found at called EnviroMom. They have some really good ideas without being preachy.

One of the last plans to hit the page was to start writing again. Well, here I am!